"New Media" response

These articles were very engaging to me based more on the thought produced. Two seemed more historical, which were interesting and engaging at the same time, while the third (soft cinema) made me think of how a system resembling theirs could aide the presentation of my ideas. When looking to question my media form, the medium is fairly evident as are the ideas, but the presentation of the two have been my biggest thinking point. I'm not really interested in "narrative" or any statements on it currently, but the strength in presentation might lend its self to the explorations I'm interested in. The two articles from the same source helped me even think de constructively about not only video, but the platform of arrival of the video and how those could be commented on. I'm not quite sure if networking lends its self to my concept currently, but it still poses interesting avenues of were either the work or me personally could exist and how that existence could be controlled. This makes me question weather or not my views are "new media" or what they fall under. The articles really make me question the validity of my deconstruction of the video media, but at the same time make me want to keep going to make my views on the medium seen and hopefully cause though. I guess overall this first push of real in depth influence has somewhat made me starstruck. The technology involved is intimidating and I'm not sure what or how to integrate into anything. These articles have opened the door and now it's my job to navigate these new ideas and bring forth my ideas out of them.

Well folks, nothing is really new. I've been trying to find somewhere to do an internship. If anyone knows a good place for an internship that pertains to new media art, I'll love you forever.

Spring break

Well, spring break is over and I can safely say that I needed it. Some family came into town and my uncle, dad, and I watched basketball and ate a ton of BBQ. It was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. The snow put me under though, I'll be ok in the end. This last leg of my sophomore year is really intimidating, but I'm ready I think. I really want to strive to explore myself through art. I'm sure going to need some support for this one.

What I learned from interviewing

After interviewing Lynn for my documentary I can look back and say that I have experienced one of the biggest learning experiences of my life. I came into the interview with a somewhat clear vision of what I wanted out of the documentary, but I didn't factor in the variable of what Lynn would give me. It was definitely partially my fault in the questioning, but even when asking questions that were seeking a response that would be beneficial to my finished product, he would give me something completely different. He was emotionally guarded in front of the camera most of the time and spent most of his effort talking about miniscule details of the work he had done. These details did reveal something about him, but not in the way that I wanted. I'm a fairly guarded person, so I should have seen it coming, but I think my romantic preconceptions of the finished product got in my way. Looking back, I should have spent more time with Lynn before hand so I could have conditioned him to talking more openly. He rarely talks about his feelings as it is, so it would naturally be more work getting him to say anything deep on camera. I also think that he had the idea that the piece was more about the house than him. Even though they do parallel each other, they needed to be balanced in the piece, and that didn't come through. I think another factor in my difficulties was that I was not fully confident in myself. There are a lot of demon that I still need to face when it comes to that side of the family, and that inadvertently interfered with my ability to fully create.

There were some positive things that I learned also. Letting Lynn continue talking after he answered my initial question yielded some really good material. It seemed to be the only way for him to sometimes drop his guard and talk about how he felt. Taking frequent smoke breaks and talking about completely off topic subjects also helped too. It just made him feel like less of a performer after and gave him a break from his guise. Letting him tell me what he wanted me to know also brought out a more genuine him, which was useful in the final edit.

The whole experience wasn't negative, but I feel like I learned more from those aspects. The whole process was exhausting, but when I finished, I felt as though I had really done something. It completely consumed me for two and a half weeks, and at the end, it was worth it. Through interviewing Lynn, I also learned a lot about my own strengths and weaknesses. I now know that I need to prepare even more and keep my self esteem up through the whole thing. As always, self doubt was a large obstacle the whole time. Altogether, I feel much closer to my art as my life after now. I brought them closer together than I ever had, and I think it payed off. I guess it will be more evident in the future.

Spring break thinking

I've been thinking about doing a piece soon to help me in thinking about how I feel about the recent loss of my uncle. It's going to be performance. I'm thinking about nailing 55 nails (one for every year of his life) into a board one by one (size of both pending) and then pulling them all out all one by one. I'm hoping to learn something about my views on living or at least have some sort of final resolution to this ordeal.